“oops I forgot my dog…..”

If you tell yourself something over and over again it will likely become your reality. The other day I was really busy at work. It’s been really crazy for the last couple weeks but on this particular day I was going flat out from 5:00am to 6:00pm. My husband dropped-off our dog, Bailey at daycare and I was supposed to pick him up at the end of the day. I spoke to my husband twice that day and each time I said, “Geez I forgot about the dog, I know I’m going to forget to pick him up”.

On my way home I was thinking about how great my day had been. I pulled into the driveway and just as I was about to reach to open the door I realized, “Darn I forgot to pick-up Bailey”. It was already 6:00pm and the daycare was closed. In a panic, I phoned them and apologized profusely at my blunder. Within ten minutes I was at the daycare but all the way there I thought about the irony of me continuing to think I was going to forgot to pick up Bailey and then actually forgetting to do it. Let’s just say I felt like a parent that just forgot to pick up their kids from school.

This got me thinking about the concept of a self-fulfilling prophecy? It’s a statement that alters actions and therefore comes true. Like me forgetting to pick up Bailey. Here’s a little background on the origins of this concept. Robert Merton, a 20^th century sociologist, actually coined the term of self-fulfilling prophecy. In his definition, in the book Social Theory and Social Structure published in 1949, the prophecy or prediction is false but is made true by a person’s actions. In the modern sense the prophecy has neither false nor true value, but is merely a possibility that is made into probability by a person’s unconscious or conscious actions.

So if you think you’re going to have a “bad day” or a “good day” events will likely happen to reinforce these thoughts. While one’s attitude cannot necessarily influence the larger things, such as a hurricane or winning the lottery, (too bad on that one) one’s attitude can influence the smaller things, like the way we relate to other people and their responses to us.

If self-fulfilling prophecies do exist then we must be careful about the things we think and say to ourselves. If your personal training business isn’t attracting any new clients and you focus on that by saying, “I’m not getting any new business” then you may be unconsciously stopping yourself from getting clients.

Here’s an interesting research study that was conducted by Robert Rosenthal and Lenore Jacobson. In 1968, they gave all the children in an elementary class a test and told teachers that some of children were unusually clever (though they were actually average). They came back at the end of the school year and tested the same class again. Guess what? The children singled out had improved their scores far more than other children.  The teachers believed they were instructing clever kids and they treated them differently from the other children in the class.  They challenged them more and gave them tougher material to work on. They had higher expectations of those particular children based on what they were told about them being unusually clever.

This research is interesting because it relates to how we think about ourselves and what we think of others. If you think you aren’t very good at something, you’re likely not going to try very hard. For example, if you struggle to market your personal training business you’re going to think you’re not good at it and probably produce poor results for your efforts. If you don’t feel confident in your ability to run your business you’re going to make poor decisions because you don’t think you know what you’re doing.

A self-fulfilling prophecy is very powerful in the sense that what you believe and perceive is likely going to become your reality. If this is the case then my suggestion is you start to think positively about events in your life. If you want to attract more clients to your personal training business then you must think you can. If you want to feel more confident in running your business then you must think it’s possible. As soon as you say to yourself, “I can’t, I don’t know how or It’s hard” then you’re right.

Imagine a client coming to you and saying, “I can’t lose any weight” or “I’m no good at exercise”. If your clients think this way then from experience you know it will be harder for them to lose weight and feel skilled at exercise. As a trainer you need to turn your clients’ negative thoughts into positive actions otherwise the journey to reaching their goal will be longer or even non-existent.

Do the same for yourself with your business. Whatever negative thoughts you have about running your personal training business, turn them around into the positive. Remind yourself that negativity won’t get you anywhere and will likely attract more negativity into your reality.

Bailey got extra cuddles that day because I felt bad about forgetting about him. Fortunately he’s not scarred by the event and loves me anyway. But it was a good lesson for me to remember that I must be careful about what I say and how I think because it will become my reality.